We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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