I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So vagazzling was a success
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize