I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
