what if every blade of grass was a penis?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
