Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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