went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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