She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
