yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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