ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
