Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
