tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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