Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
