HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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