Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
