i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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