I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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