We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
