You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
