you would pick up someone in the library
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
