I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i believe in u and ur pee
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
