the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
