My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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