im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
