I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
