hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
