All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
