They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
