MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
