actually, I'm a sock model
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
