I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
