why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
