Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
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