Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You made out with two different species that night
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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