Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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