i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
