She announced her abortion via fbk
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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