I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
