What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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