WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
