I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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