Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My pussy is not your playground.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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