I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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