The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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