Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
