At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
