Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
