Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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