were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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