I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Randomize
