when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
