Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
