Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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