Duck Duck Cougar?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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