I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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