Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
