I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
When are your genitals available?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
