That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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