The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
