she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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