Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize