why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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